In this regard, the culture is not teaching you to value the person, but to prioritise what the person gives you as “social points”. By “appearances” I do not mean how beautiful the woman is: I refer to all those surface-level features that make the society treat you as a “good man/husband” who has a “good woman/wife”. Don’t be lazy, don’t be dirty, don’t be a bully, and don’t be pretentious.