"How dare he take away the benefits we earned with our blood," said 270-year-old Arthur Breckenridge, who fought in the Battle of Yorktown in 1781. Now we find out he's cutting off our Social Security? "Though Musk and the team at DOGE cited Social Security payments to individuals seemingly far too old to still be living as evidence of widespread fraud, Breckenridge and his fellow Revolutionary War veterans were not going to accept this indignity. "This billionaire miscreant leaves us no choice," said Thomas Halderman, a 278-year-old veteran of the Battle of Saratoga. "At publishing time, DOGE was reportedly seeking a way to verify the ages and identities of the Revolutionary War veterans by asking Senator Mitch McConnell if he knew any of them from back then.