Illustration by Steve Stegelin Credit: Steve StegelinReports taken from Sept. 3 to Sept. 14We’ll sit out this barbecueA downtown man on Sept. 3 reportedly stole two packs of short ribs from a Westside grocery store. Security footage captured the man shoving the meat down his pants before slipping out of the store. The driver reportedly hid a Red Solo cup in the passenger floorboard, but left the white can labeled “Margarita” in a cupholder in plain view of the officer. Conclusion: Either the man was hearing things — or police need to question the skateboard itself. In the backyard, they found a band playing for a small group of people celebrating a woman’s 21st birthday.