The menu will evidently feature a couple of Donkey’s favorites, waffles and parfaits, and fortunately fails to mention any of Shrek’s go-to swamp snacks (say, a bowl of eyeballs or an entire raw fish sucked down without chewing). You’ll get to embrace the ogre lifestyle by trudging to an outhouse “approximately 20 meters away” from the hut every time you need to use the bathroom, though you can rest assured that the shower spouts water rather than mud. If a free stay in the Scottish Highlands appeals to you, ogre or not, check out the full listing here.