The Times also noted that a spokesperson for McConnell — so…so not McConnell, but someone else — did not say whether the senator would return to the Senate when the five-week break that began Monday ends in September. I mean, honestly, it would be pretty hilarious if all the senators came back after a five-week recess to find Yertle the McConnell just sitting there ready to go like he hadn’t been on a 13-week recess that he didn’t even tell anyone he was going on. OK, it is true that, despite the photos his office released of him in a hospital bed alongside his wife, Elaine Chao, many people have speculated without evidence that McConnell was secretly dead.