PRESIDENT Trump was hidden in a catering truck so he could be served to Russia’s leader as a nude human meat platter, he has confirmed. Trump came up with the idea while at a Nato summit where nobody had a good word to say about his favourite ethonationalist, and persuaded protection officers to smuggle him off Air Force One so he could be stripped, rubbed down with lard and flown to Moscow. An aide said: “Trump knew Putin had heard all the disparaging things Nato leaders were saying about him, because he was wearing a wire, and he knew Putin would be upset.