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The eldest daughter is often the one who seems able to handle everything. Psychologists say that for some women, that competence has a hidden cost: they learned as children that being responsible for everyone else came before having needs of their own.
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Fewer people remember that the person producing those results also needs care.
The labour may be practical, emotional or bothResearchers often distinguish instrumental from emotional parentification.
Emotional responsibility is harder to photograph.
Girls and women are also more often socialised into emotional work, domestic coordination and family care.
The hidden cost often appears as self-erasureAs an adult, the capable daughter may become a treasured friend and colleague.