The night before a JPMorgan software developer was due back at the office, he lay in bed, unable to sleep. “The best way I can describe it,” the 30-year-old said, “is I got time away from a toxic family member. But the software engineer wasn’t dealing with a life-threatening illness or caring for a family member with one. He didn’t like his manager, and didn’t feel his contributions were going to make or break the multitrillion-dollar bank. “The bar for FMLA is quite low,” Cassandra Lammers, a senior HR executive who has spearheaded leave policy at large employers including The New York Times and Audible, told me.