My dog, Cerberus (he’s a rescue and came with the name), is a big ol’ boy with a few quirks you should know about. Cerberus also loves lying down right in front of the Wi-Fi router whenever you need to check the password. Unlike being engaged to someone who doesn’t hesitate to share how little she respects you, Cerberus is nothing to be afraid of. On the fridge is the number for the emergency vet, which you can’t use because they banned Cerberus after he ate a bunch of parrots. You shouldn’t need the vet anyway, as Cerberus has no allergies or medications.