I Desperately Want a Baby. What I Need to Do to Get One Can Take Me to a Dark Place.

For many couples, the goal of conception can transform sex from a passionate act, dictated only by desire, to a duty. The process of trying to conceive, coupled with a history of sexual trauma, can sometimes leave me feeling disturbingly disconnected from my own body. It’s not that conception sex resembles assault. Ultimately, talking about what was going on was our first step back to enjoying the intimate part of the baby process. I can remind myself that conception sex is not the new normal but a temporary recurrence.