She was in Sydney, and I was wherever life happened to have taken me. A few times during the last few years of her life, Mum would tease me and say, “These calls aren’t for me. I’d chosen this life and I love my independence But if something happened to me, who would know? I know I’d already be gone, but I don’t like the thought of being found because the neighbours noticed a smell, or because friends wondered why I hadn’t responded to messages. Without ever talking about it, those calls had become our way of touching base every day.