NEW YORK—Calling the issue an existential threat to American parties, hangouts, and chill seshes, a group of leading immunologists issued a statement Tuesday warning about the rise of good time–resistant supernarcs. “These supernarcs can call the cops within milliseconds of a round of Puff Puff Pass starting, and show virtually no reduction in lameness when promised the music will stay at a reasonable volume. Some have even been recorded complaining about marijuana smoke from over 20 miles away. These supernarcs can and will harsh all mellows currently known to science.” Leahy went on to state that unless drastic action was taken to stem the tide of supernarcs, humanity could completely lose its ability to unwind after a long day.