BLOOMFIELD, CA—Saying he would need to lean on family and friends for support as he began his journey to reenter society, local man Gregory Webb confirmed Thursday that he was struggling to acclimate to life outside having his penis stuck in a hot tub jet. “I had mentally prepared to die in that hot tub a long time ago,” Webb continued. “The minute you mention getting your penis stuck in a hot tub jet in a job interview, it’s over. Even people you thought were your longtime friends will shun you after you’ve spent time with your penis stuck in their hot tub.” “It’s funny—even though I’ve been out for a little while now, I find myself using a lot of the lingo, like, ‘I have my penis stuck in a hot tub.