British commuters seeking a thrill could do worse than asking fellow passengers whether they would mind turning their terrible music off. And naturally there is a ready supply of experts happy to excuse it, and even present it as a social good. In cases where the goss is hot this is a blessing, indiscreet public phone calls having previously left eavesdroppers wondering just how much of a slag Tracy really is. With phone theft basically already legal in London, why not give passengers a free hand to apprehend loudcasters? Should the boffins veto it on ethical grounds, they can at least stop making excuses for people who really warrant the designation of ‘bus wanker’.