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Psychology says the people who apologise for the state of their house before anyone has even walked in aren’t self-conscious about cleanliness, they were raised to believe hospitality had to be earned before it could be offered
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What the apology is actually doingThe easy reading is that these people are self-conscious about cleanliness, or perfectionist, or socially anxious.
Apologising for the house is apologising for occupying it in front of someone else.
The pre-emptive house apology falls into a fourth category, closer to a toll than a repair: an admission of insufficiency offered before anyone has claimed there was any.
Warmth in the room, ease at the door, the assumption that the house can be offered as it is.
No study has traced the pre-emptive house apology to a particular kind of childhood.