Every man is a little less of a man if he travels without a cooler packed with ice, Coca-Cola, and sandwiches. Alternative UsesEvery cooler expert knows the primary alternative use for a cooler is soaking your feet after a long hike. The fact that coolers don’t actually work isn’t a manufacturing defect, it’s a genetic trait. The Cooler in CaptivityThe natural habitat of the cooler is the trunk of a car. If you ever manage to get a penguin living inside your cooler, you’ll have a wonderful story to tell your guests.