Representatives of pop star and actress Ariana Grande announced she is taking a break from public life, citing “endless, ongoing public scrutiny” of her health and physical appearance. “I can’t wait to scrutinize her comeback.” Jill Krieger, Mongoose Herder “I stopped going to the doctor for the exact same reason.” Kevin Ngo, Diamond Wearer “Disappearing’s a brilliant way to end speculation about your health.” Mark Pollara, Unemployed