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EN
Attraction behaves less like a fixed physical fact than a running judgement: in one study an unpleasant personality made people rate the same face as less attractive, and feeling understood by a partner is what sustains desire: the actions that destroy attraction mostly reveal character
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Silicon Canals
When a face came attached to a warm, honest, helpful personality, people judged it as more physically attractive than they had the first time.
When the same kind of face came with an unpleasant personality, they judged it as less attractive.
If character can shift how physically attractive a face appears, then attraction was never the fixed physical thing the advice assumes.
Here the psychologists Gurit Birnbaum and Harry Reis have studied what they call partner responsiveness: the sense that someone understands you, values you, and is genuinely attentive to what you need.
The desire research includes lab interactions and self-reports, and the effects, while consistent, are averages with real variation between people and between cultures.