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EN
Adults who apologise for taking up space in a photograph, a booth, or a conversation may not simply be modest: they may have learned that being noticed had a cost and staying small kept affection available
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Psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis describes conditional parental love as affection or support that is withdrawn when a child displeases a caregiver.
That does not establish a direct line from conditional affection to apologising in restaurants or avoiding the centre of photographs.
It does, however, offer one plausible reason some adults become highly attentive to how acceptable, convenient, or unobtrusive they appear.
Noticing the pattern does not make it disappear, but it can create a pause before the next automatic retreat.
The apology to the booth, the group photograph, or the conversation may belong to circumstances that no longer exist.