The People's Democratic Republic of Putin has announced that the next president of America will be Michael Knight during the week and Mitch Buchannon on Saturdays. 'This will be a government for the people, by the people, Hoff the people,' declared White House press secretary Pamela Anderson. 'Anybody who gets into trouble on a jet-ski at the weekend will be saved in slow motion by Mitch and myself personally. 'Monday to Friday, President Knight will be a lone crusader who operates above the law. And our Turbo Boost Button policies are so popular already, there is no need for anyone to vote on anything.'