Most commentary on the culture war on campuses understandably focusses on the threats to free speech. But there is another battle being waged that is largely hidden from outsiders, against sports societies and their drinking culture. It also confirms that the war on sports clubs’ drinking culture really is just another front in the broader culture war. Perhaps the clearest quirk of university culture is the gulf between students and the people who supposedly represent them. The culture war isn’t just coming for ‘problematic’ speakers or statues of alleged colonialists – it’s also coming for those ordinary students who enjoy a drink or two with their sports teams.