After all, you’ve split for a reason – shouldn’t you just start hating their guts, and move on? But as a couples counsellor and relationship expert, I know the truth is much more complex. I’m currently seeing many women in their forties who chose to walk away from their marriages for good reason, yet are finding it hard to cut the cord for good. However, there are things you can do to help yourself through those early days of confusion and heartbreak. If you’re constantly peeling it back and peeking at the wound, it won’t heal – if anything, it’ll get worse.