After gobbling up every single episode of the Ryan Murphy-produced Love Story: John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette like so much movie-theater candy, I was obviously locked in for The Shards, a brand-new FX thriller co-created by Murphy and Bret Easton Ellis and based on Ellis’s semi-autobiographical novel of the same name. The first episode of The Shards is big, blockbuster-y, baroque, and glossy, and although I don’t quite get what makes the show tick yet, I’m committed to going along for the ride and finding out. Below, find absolutely every thought I had about Episode 1 of The Shards.