But when my marriage ended abruptly in the summer of 2025, I felt a frantic need to tell everyone what had happened. I wondered if this was my way of putting it out into the world that I was available. Mostly I felt I had no other way of making clear that I was going through a profound but invisible change in identity. Taylor Swift songs felt profound. At night I felt alone, but no more or less alone than I’d been feeling for a long time.