OTTAWA – Mark Carney has officially given notice that his government will be designating Danielle Smith’s West Coast pipeline a project of national interest, allowing the massive oil and gas project to be constructed as quickly as possible before Canada’s entire West Coast goes up in flames. “Who has time to address climate change when wildfires are decimating precious pipeline space?” Carney pointed to a map of North America, half of which had been accurately but artistically burned away. “This is a great day for Albertans, and none of the rest of you traitorous fucks,” Smith stated, flipping off any reporter who looked like they were from east of her province. “I told Mark that every week this pipeline isn’t built, I would set another forest on fire.