My husband never planned anything, so when he arranged a candlelit anniversary dinner for our whole family, I thought maybe he was finally trying. Then he stood up to toast our loyalty, and our eight-year-old daughter asked a question that made his wine glass slip straight out of his hand. The cake itself sat on a small table near the wall, "20 Years Strong" piped in soft gold across white frosting. Across the table, my mother dabbed her eyes before the toast had even started. The next morning, I sat at Diana's kitchen table while Lily watched cartoons in the den.