So, what are the best, most effective ways to help your partner feel heard and supported without hurting your relationship? Therapist Kristina Virro shares the five phrases couples who rarely fight often say to de-escalate things fast. AdvertisementCouples who rarely fight usually say these things casually:1. 'Go ahead and explain'When you're talking with your partner, it's best to give each other the floor. Virro ends with, "How you say something is just as important as what you're saying."