These traits don't mean we're bad people, they are things we've internalized during our lives and may resort to when under pressure. When people are in their reactive state, they tend to make snap decisions that often don't resolve the situation and can even make it worse. This is why we often don't realize we're in a reactive state until we've already done the damage. The point here is that you don't want to pass that down to your own children. When our emotions are activated, they think they speak for us and don’t feel they have to consider anything other than what they want at the moment.