For instance, maybe their partner had had a bad day, or the restaurant was loud, he was hungry, or he was in some other less-than-perfect state. Clearly, had she been more skillful at expressing her hurt, her partner would have taken responsibility for his actions and felt remorse for having caused her suffering, even if it was unintentional. Women take on guilt and often apologize for having wounded their partner with their “accusations” or for not appreciating how good and well-intentioned their partner is. The punishment might come in the form of their partner’s anger (more of it), rejection, withdrawal, abandonment, or a threat to their financial and family stability. It’s this system that makes it impossible to move the dial, not just in the relationship with our partner, but more importantly, in our relationship with ourselves.