Here's why — and how — to let kids fail in a way that helps them grow. Why Parents Struggle to Let Their Kids FailLogically, parents know failure is a learning opportunity, so why do we grapple with letting our kids struggle? "We need to let kids try things that are developmentally appropriate, even if we are scared," says Lahey. How to Let Your Kids Fail — Without Letting Them FlounderIf you need to incorporate more successful failure into your family life, begin with small, low-stakes challenges. Let kids see your mistakes or talk about ones you've made and how you handled them.