But what if the greatest obstacle to your adult child's independence isn't a lack of motivation? All that said, one of the most surprising mistakes loving parents make is confusing relieving their adult child's distress with the adult child building resilience. Let's keep it real: When your adult child is overwhelmed, it's natural to want to jump in. But here's the rub: You've been doing tons of overthinking about your struggling adult child, and you want to prevent another setback, another disappointment, another painful mistake. My main message to you is that stepping back at the right moments isn't giving up on your adult child.