In another impressive performance, England has topped the Commonwealth Games medal tally, when taking into consideration the more important measurement of ‘moral victories’. The Moral Medal Table was introduced after England complained that the traditional medal table was “overly focused on outcomes and not enough on vibes”. Under the system, developed in conjunction with the England men’s cricket team, England is allowed to nominate events they believe they would have won if circumstances had been slightly different. “We don’t think the official medal tally tells the full story,” an England spokesperson said. But what’s most important is shouting ‘spirit of the game’ and claiming that you’ve won, even when you’ve lost”.