No one can be in perfect control over when and how they feel anxious; a better goal is to become competent at living well even when anxious. Each time you avoid a situation or person who triggers anxiety, called negative reinforcement, you reinforce your tendency to get anxious and stay anxious. Understanding how you came to be an anxious person might be interesting and help you cultivate self-compassion; however, it is far removed from learning how to manage your anxiety in the present moment. They never wait to feel confident and calm before doing difficult things because they realize doing difficult things is what produces peace of mind and self-confidence. They focus on what they can learn from difficult life experiences rather than the negative effects of such experiences.