Even if we’re with a partner that we love, trust, and communicate effectively with in every other aspect of our lives, talking about sex doesn’t always translate. “Desire speaks in a language that many of us weren't ever taught how to translate,” Dr. Berkheimer explains. “Pleasure isn't something your partner delivers—it's a relationship you build with yourself first, then invite someone else to experience with you,” Dr. Berkheimer says. Dr. Berkheimer suggests having the discussion on a walk, over coffee, or even while cuddling after a particularly satisfying session. And even if your partner doesn’t seem as psyched as you to try something new or different, don’t take it to heart.