Then, 18 months ago, my wife asked me point-blank what had happened when I was in graduate school. But we’ve been struggling for so long, and I honestly don’t know if we’re making any progress. But it seems clear that I make her miserable—and how can I love her if I make her miserable? I’m really in a bind here, and I don’t know what to do. They don’t know that organizing your life around each other is often a telltale sign that you are in love.