AN office worker is living in fear of a colleague who believes he is a real friend and not merely a work friend. Martin Bishop has come to dread Steve Malley’s escalating acts of friendliness, which threaten to cross the line from cynical work banter into worthwhile friendship. Bishop said: “It’s not that I don’t like Steve, he’s alright. “Or what if Steve turns out to be a weirdo with no friends and a huge collection of ultra-violent comic books and hentai porn? “Then at work everyone will know me as ‘that weirdo Steve’s mate’ and there’ll be no chance of shagging Francesca or Rachel.