What research does offer is a useful distinction: a family can notice what someone provides while gradually losing sight of what that person needs. Competence can become invisible infrastructureMuch of family life is not the visible task itself. A family role is built through repetitionMost families never sit down and appoint one member as the reliable one. The aim is not to make the reliable person less capable. The change begins when the family’s most reliable person is included among the people whose needs deserve attention.