A wrong way to go about it is to pass on all child-rearing obligations to this person because you couldn’t handle them. This is exactly what a couple did when they realized they weren’t fit to be the primary caregivers for their two daughters. These responsibilities involve a mental load, which licensed therapist Paige Bellenbaum describes as the “invisible labor” involved in running a household. According to licensed psychologist Dr. Carissa Gustafson, women, in particular, carry a heavier mental load, thanks to cultural expectations around motherhood. Based on the husband’s account, they both seem overwhelmed by the parental mental load, which is a matter of proper distribution.