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EN
Psychology says the reason attractive, kind people sometimes have no close friends isn’t a personality flaw — it’s that they’ve often spent their whole lives being chosen for what they provide rather than loved for who they are
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Silicon Canals
There is no body of research showing that attractive, kind people lack close friends because others use them.
A 2019 paper in Motivation and Emotion reported four studies on parental conditional regard and later peer relationships.
In the first two studies, young adults who remembered more conditional regard from parents also tended to perceive more conditional regard from romantic partners and best friends, alongside lower relationship quality.
None of those qualities prevents close friendship, and none proves that another person’s motives are instrumental.
Close friendship begins with finding out whether those two experiences can belong to the same relationship.