Almost every person I've interviewed has told me some version of the same sentence: 'I never thought I'd have an affair.' She described feeling emotionally numb, completely disconnected from herself, as though she couldn't access any emotion at all. The relationship wasn't romantic. When communication begins to break down inside a relationship, people often stop feeling emotionally connected long before anyone notices. One of the biggest shifts I've noticed over the years is that emotional affairs have become far more common.