Welcome back to Minor Dilemmas, where a member of Defector's Parents Council will answer your questions on surviving family life. I worry that I've already lost control of my kid and that he's going to grow up to be an asshole. I worry that other people think my wife and I don't handle him well and that he misbehaves. Our voices become important at this age because the options for discipline and encouragement are narrow, and the stakes feel impossibly high. Now that she's 3, I'm taking an approach that I believe is clinically referred to as "fuck around and find out."