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The Art of the Apology
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Psychology Today: The Latest
The apology was not taken seriously, or it was judged insufficient, and the relationship stayed bruised.
These are the five steps research suggests that a complete apology should contain:Step 1: Acknowledge the PainBefore anything else, name the harm.
"I know my comment embarrassed you in front of the team" may be welcome; "I'm sorry for whatever upset you" will not be.
"I'm sorry you were hurt" locates the event in the other person's feelings; "I'm sorry I hurt you" locates it in your actions.
In Lewicki and colleagues' (2016) component studies, acknowledgment of responsibility emerged as the single most important element of an effective apology.