These are the final steps in my seven-step process for healing abusive behavior. Apologizing to your partner (or older child) for your abusive behavior or attitude will not only be healing for them, but for you as well. Now think about the effects your abusive behavior had on your partner’s self-esteem. I hope these seven steps have helped you in your desire to discontinue your abusive behavior. Your pride may tell you that it wasn’t your fault that you became abusive, that your partner played a role as well.