was enough to turn a Seattle raccoon into a global internet sensation this week. The viral critter—dubbed ‘Jimothy’ by the internet—has a shorter spine than the average raccoon. It would also seem I have become something of an avatar for your collective longing for a better world, one that contains more whimsy and delight and less discord and horror. I would be thrilled if your delight at me helped to knit you together as a species, but if I’m a betting raccoon, I don’t love the odds. I’m sorry I cannot serve as a harbinger of better times, nor as a symbol of your better selves.