And so I felt frustrated when I read an article urging people who feel lonely during the holidays to go to parties and feel grateful for what they have. Humans evolved to feel lonely as a natural alert that we need more connection. Problems arise when feeling lonely makes us less likely to employ the skills we have.” His research shows we are less likely to want to socialize when we feel lonely. When other people don’t know what you actually feel, then they can’t empathize with you. It forces us to become someone’s ally, even briefly, and we’ve evolved to feel connection when we have allies.