“Hovis will not have an issue with any of this”, said mother confidently, “he is fine with fireworks”. Now to add colour to this situation mother was also in Scotland for my stepdad-to-be’s (SDTB) birthday. And what better way than an emergency call out on a Sunday morning… and another one on Sunday night… you know, just to make sure. I’m pretty sure that he didn’t know what he was signing up for and is possible now reconsidering his life choices. So come and help me, help them… and possibly bring mum some valium.