Get them off me!’I am hopping about in a pair of silver mules and the pain is off the scale. 'It's a copy of Victoria Beckham's bestseller, but the colour looks cheap, it has red piping, and the sleeves are too fussy. The high-street jeans combo is almost as awful, but the New Look denim (£34.99) is softer. But after this humbling shoot, I realise I've been hoodwinked by the brands I love, but which don't love me back. ANSWERSLeft (designer): Jacket, Self-portrait, mytheresa.com.