Michael, 50, Bespoke WoodworkerI was 22 when I pulled my car across six lanes of traffic in Delaware. She gave a polite smile, kind enough not to make it worse, but the moment was already wrecked. “It’ll take the edge off your sex drive,” he said, as if the problem was simply wanting too much. Without setting out to be one, my partners sometimes described me as a “pleasure dom.” Control wasn’t about being rough; it was about pacing. When I was 22, I tried to take a shortcut across six lanes of traffic, and it nearly killed me.