OPINION: The first question is how much nitrate is there in the Canterbury water and are we expecting multiple deaths with hospitals overwhelmed every day? The second question: is there some variety of idiot juice in the water in the region? Proof is the bizarre declaration by Environment Canterbury that there is a ‘nitrate emergency’ in the region. So why haven’ t the police, the health department, the army and even experts from the White House been called to deal with it? And per the prophetic words of Gilbert and Sullivan, ‘they never will be missed’.