Take this example: “My nine-year-old daughter is pretty nasty to her siblings, who she claims I favor over her,” says one mother. She doesn’t like the way he breathes, so she told him to go sit somewhere else. In her short description of the problem, Mom describes her daughter as “nasty,” “paranoid,” and “always screaming” at her brother. One significant reason is that the story Mom tells herself gets in the way, causing her to make an unfair judgment. Imagine if our loving eyes penetrated the hearts of all our family members — just imagine what that could do.